spirits that speak

4.12.2006

Friends are Friends Forever

i have recently been wondering what it's about to be a good friend. i have many beliefs, morals, and ethics that i try to stick to (and often fail), but one of the ones that i value most is loyalty. occasionally, a friend will get involved in something that is a very difficult situation and while there are things they could be doing differently to handle it, i want to stand by them no matter what. but what about when that involves some degree of personal risk?

there's a situation at work currently that involves two main people. 1 person is someone who is untrustworthy, a coward, and generally rotten. we'll call this person wiggum. the other person is a friend of mine whose friendship i value. we'll call the second person carl.

for wiggum's part, he has dug up as much dirt on carl as possible and has revealed these things to certain people with the goal that carl's credibility and reputation is completely ruined and will hopefully get fired or severely punished without possibility of any of privileges similar to what wiggum enjoys. wiggum also has far more power than is fitting for him to have.

carl has tried to respond with similar force. he has gone to the same people that wiggum has and discussed certain things about how wiggum carries himself at work. he has pointed out to the powers that be that wiggum is getting far too carried away with the power and privileges afforded him and has abused his position.

this past weekend, things escalated. carl went to a party and got a little too much party in him. being all full of "party" as he was, he made a mistake and called work requesting to speak with wiggum when he told wiggum just what he thought about wiggum's actions. this has resulted in punishment for carl.

while i don't dispute that this should be the case, wiggum is far to happy about what's happening to carl, wiggum has basically committed many of the same things that he has ratted on carl for, but has covered up his tracks significantly. because of wiggum's power, i have decided that i can only get involved in limited capacity. if i get too involved, it will possibly end up causing wiggum to try and dig up dirt on me and see that i get punished. my boss has warned me about this. but to what extent do i honor my friendship with carl? if i get privileged information relevant to his situation due to my own position, do i tell him this information with the risk that if the person who told me finds out it will back fire? i suspect the answer is no, but the problem i'm having is that it could really help carl.

anyway, this is all coming out completely differently than i expected and much less effectively. i'm kind of confused about things right now. i'm not really looking for advice, just kind of writing for the sake of working things out in my mind. if you read this and feel it was a waste of time, please feel free to ignore it and wait for something more worthwhile to read.

it's bound to happen eventually!

6 Comments:

  • I think it is a very tough issue and could probably use some prayer. And remember, "if anyone lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives to all without finding fault. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt...."

    I love you, bro, and I'm glad you are weighing this issue carefully. I'm pattin' ya on the ol' back right now.

    By Blogger Shiny Beamer, at 22:23  

  • thanks so much for your thoughts on this. i actually have prayed about it a few times, and will continue to. it's good advice.

    By Blogger johnny m, at 09:04  

  • In my opinion, this is not just an issue of what it means to be a true friend in a situation like that and weighing your options because of possible ramifications for yourself, but also how the principle of "overcoming evil with good" could be creatively applied here rather than "by fighting the dragon in the ways of the dragon become a dragon yourself".

    By Blogger strider, at 13:35  

  • that is wisdom. fortunately i have been learning that as the situation has unravelled. thanks for your advice.

    By Blogger johnny m, at 06:07  

  • you're a good friend johnny (if that is your real name). i have full confidence that your desire to reflect meaningfully on the situation will help you to respond appropriately when the time(s) come.

    by the way its about 1 month until i enact the mother-of-all guys breakfast back in the peg (we're out for jen k's wedding).

    By Anonymous daved, at 11:34  

  • wow, that's something to look forward to (thanks for the kind words, by the way). did you know kev's gonna be in town on july 10 for 2 weeks? it'd be a shame if you guys missed each other.

    By Blogger johnny m, at 07:00  

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