spirits that speak


the result of Good Friday inspiration

the Good Friday service at my church was very appropriate. it was somber and really brought home the message of what happened and who was responsible. i really don't think we can understand that enough.

but walking out i had sudden inspiration to write. a few lines came to mind and i constructed something around them. it's a work in progress.

you can find my piece as the last section in the reflection our priest wrote about the service. here's the link.

this is the end (of lent). my only friends, the end.

yes, less than 24 hours to go for lent. technically i will end it early, but i feel ok about that. after sundown on saturday i will be watching The Passion of the Christ. i watch it every year at easter because it sets things right in my mind and makes it all more real.

but i've found that, during lent, when watching movies on sundays (the only day it would have been permitted), it all had more flavor. i just felt more...like i saw the ones from my own collection for the first time.

this relatively short period of time has helped me appreciate those things more. they hold more weight for me now. i think that there's still a lot that i didn't do during lent, and i'm sure i didn't find the full meaning of things. but this is my first time actually doing something to commemorate lent. i can only hope future years will bring improvement in how i navigate this season.

there were definitely time that i wanted to give in. having also given up fast food, there were so many times i wanted desperately to partake in free pizza that was offered to me. but God gave me the grace to turn it down. still, i think next year will be just as difficult.

perhaps i'll give up the same things just so i can see how i could improve on this.

analyze that

so, therapy is done. it's a funny process. i guess it went relatively well. i'm not really sure i cam out of it with any additional answers, but i don't have more questions. i think that's a plus.

the last session was the most interesting. it's strange when you know it's coming to an end. both me and the therapist had a chance to mentally prepare for that reality. it was actually a very honest session for both of us. he also admitted that he was having a hard time with the fact that it was already coming to an end. i don't know that he was fully prepared for that.

i guess i do come out of it with more of a sense that God is interested in me. i didn't exactly go into it looking for that. i think the most significant thing that i came out of it with is more of a desire to meditate. specifically it's meditating on very short portions of Scripture (e.g. "give us this day our daily bread"). it's a matter of trying to break down what something means and really figuring out the components of it are and how they fit together and what it all means.

so that's that. i guess what i hope now is that i've gotten some tools with which to address the questions i still have.