spirits that speak


100 years winter, and reliving hope

yeah, i'm writing about narnia again. i promise i won't do this everytime i see the movie...this will be the last time.

there's just such a hope in the movie that's very well woven into the story. but i know it's effectively woven in because i don't just feel the hope that narnians feel for their own land when they see the children. i feel hope for this world. hope for the endurance of my faith.

the characters in the story are just so used to winter. they're just going about living their lives. but in the back of their minds is this comatose hope. one which they've been keeping on life support just in case it's not a lost cause. hope that, no matter how long it's been, isn't beyond the possibility of revival.

these things are familiar to me throughout the film. then i remember that this is how i feel when i'm reading the narnia stories. lewis did well in writing the narnia series, and i believe andrew adamson did well in adapting it for film.

and this hope that's prevalent throughout the book and movie is greatly encouraging for me and i'm trying to find a way to make that sense last. perhaps i'm feeling like i'm in the middle of my own endless winter right now. i haven't seen christmas in a hundred years. i'm praying for that one spark. a spark that will revive my hope (faith) and cause ice to melt, giving way to a raging river.


money for nothing

well, i recently applied for a promotion at work. it was a long, arduous process for me. i'm a bit exhausted.

finally, after about a month of waiting, i have been told i didn't make the cut. there were 8 spots for the position i applied for. the reason i was denied was simply a technicality. it came down to experience in 1 particular aspect of the job. the others who were offered a position were much more experienced than me in that aspect.

i expected to be extremely depressed if this were to happen. i've worked so hard for it. spent so much time agonizing over it. but i'm actually not that upset...i'm a little surprised. it's actually kind of a peaceful feeling.

it means the summer will be very hard because my wife is a teacher who is laid off from june-september, so the money would have been what really saved us from some hardship and stress. i still don't know how we're gonna pull it off. ironically, i feel that God is good to me in this news. not sure how. it really doesn't make sense to me, since i'm not an optimistic person by any stretch of the imagination.

don't get me wrong. disappointment still lingers, but it's more of a residue than a mud covering me entirely like i expected. perhaps i'm just numb from the shock of the whole process finally being over. i don't really know.

all i know is i feel okay. whatever comes later will come no matter what. i guess i'm not worried because i don't care. wow, what a useless post. i'll try to write something meaningful another time. k?